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[hassaran]

crystal 〉〉 note 〉〉 action

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[cozen]

La vulpesse. Vraiment.

[ Huffy, in a play-acted way. So much for needing to convince her she's meant for more than cleaning up after them—or perhaps she could still use some coaxing.

A thought he'll come back to on his own time. He huffs one more time for good measure, though, before— ]

I promised I would try to stay out of the dark alleys. The chases and the assassinations. All of that. I know it's selfish.

[ An apology for that selfishness does not follow. ]

[hassaran]

Exactly. [ Right under his nose! She's obviously amused by the reaction. ] She could do more if she wanted, but I don't like to impose.

[ On Fifi, anyway. On Bastien, maybe. ]

Do you think Darras wouldn't love for me to be finished with all that? That I wouldn't?

[cozen]

No.

[ He doesn't think. ]

Would he stop if you did? Would he come ashore and work at a desk?

[hassaran]

He would give up his ship tomorrow if I'd quit this and go home. We'd planned to be retired by now.

I'm not sure about working at a desk. That might finally be his limit.

[cozen]

[ A laugh. A brief one. ]

You would have to time it, if he tried. So you could know down to the minute how long he lasted.

[ A smacking sound—his tongue running thoughtfully over his teeth and then snapping away from them. ]

If I switch, Byerly might come with me.

[ Neither an apology nor a warning. It's just part of what's holding him back: the opposite of a suicide pact.

There are other parts. And there are also new circumstances weighing in the opposite direction—like that he wouldn't be ditching the division head he was sleeping with. The reality of his siblings, alive and well in the Free Marches. ]

We'll talk about it.

crystal.

[cozen]

Is there food at Scouting meetings?

[hassaran]

Usually, shortages and general destruction permitting.

[cozen]

Alright. Then I will join you.

I mean, your division. Not that I will come crash your meetings to take your food.

[hassaran]

Now you've made me suspicious.

[cozen]

If it helps I will allow you to feed me in arrears. I won't eat anything at the first meeting, and the food at the second one can be to compensate me for the previous week.

[hassaran]

Maybe you should be in charge of providing the food for the first month, just to be sure.

[cozen]

Will I be reimbursed?

[hassaran]

Yes. But not immediately.

[cozen]

[ A suspicious hum, first, but, ]

Fine, fine. I will bring the snacks.

And my real condition is that Byerly gets to know where I am, and if something goes wrong, he gets to know that, too. Even if there is some reason you think it needs to stay a secret. Yeah?

[hassaran]

[ She's about to say something else when he keeps going, and she lets the silence turn more serious as she considers this real condition for a minute. ]

Yes. As long as he understands that knowing doesn't mean he gets to interfere. He has to trust that we both know what we're doing. And that I'm not some cold-blooded monster eager to sacrifice agents.

[cozen]

If he thought that, he'd have put up a fight. And thank you, [ for agreeing, pause and all. ] Give me the rest of the week to wrap up and hand off some things in Diplomacy and I'll be all yours.

[hassaran]

[ The pause is how you know she means it. ]

He's always seemed convinced I'm ice all the way through. Anyway, I should be thanking you. I really do appreciate the help, Bastien. We've good agents but so many amateurs and anchors.

Is Byerly coming as well or staying with Diplomacy?

[cozen]

[ He smiles to himself. He stands by the belief that Yseult being obliged to thank him on a biweekly schedule would have been a disastrous condition to impose—but once is alright. Once is nice. ]

Staying. For now. It didn't really come up.

[ Deliberately, on Bastien's side of things. Not to protect Yseult or Byerly from one another; they're adult professionals, and he'd awfully like them to have more charitable understandings of one another and both have a nice time if he invites Yseult to future made-up birthdays.

But he's also a hypocrite who'd prefer Byerly stay in the least dangerous situation available. So. ]

[hassaran]

That may be for the best. I wouldn't turn him away, but he's too romantic at heart for this work. He seems to feel it all too deeply. It's not an insult, it's only a weakness in dark alleys.

[cozen]

[ It's his turn to pause. And when he answers it's careful—less afraid-careful, more shaky-legs-of-someone-unused-to-this careful. ]

I've wondered if it's part of why his spymaster liked to keep him drinking.

[hassaran]

[ She makes a thoughtful noise. Plausible, if distasteful. ] Better to just train agents who already know they can't save everyone.

[cozen]

There are only so many talented eleven-year-olds [ she told him; he remembers ] who have already learned that. I hadn't.

[hassaran]

Maybe bards should do more recruiting at orphanages. Watching your family die is a very effective lesson.

[cozen]

Your mother?

[hassaran]

[ There's a hesitation here, but brief. She's not eager to say more but seeming dramatic would be even worse. ]

Her too. If we'd had money she might've had a few more years but she was never strong. And the rest of my family was killed by bandits on the road. There was nothing I could do then, and nothing I've learned since would be enough to have saved them all. I'd think dealing with mages would also provide a constant reminder of one's limitations.